i cant believe i never became serious with dis blog. dis is over a year mehn!! wow...

AM LOOKING FOR YOU... DAT IRREPLACEABLE YOU!!!

i thought i had you. i thought i had someone i could talk to.. someone dat wud always come through for me. someone dat i could tell anything. i reaally thought i ha YOU. as a friend, as a confidant, as some1 i can talk to weneva.

i feel so let down. i thought it was a 2-way thing. i talk. you talk.. we share.. we find solutions..we help each other. i miss you so much that it hurts to even think about it. ok! i get that u cannot come to my side but for how long do you expect me to keep looking for you. sacrifice!!! av done a lot of that for you but wat do i get???? am so hurt right now.

i wish dere was something we could do. but i just think we are falling out.

dere is so much i want to tell you now.. about d psycho... d way i feel.. stuff am up to. but i cant be jamming all dat over the fone. it wud have been nice if for once you went out of your way to look for me. i noe u care, i care about you too. but this is getting to hard to contain/control.

MY LIFE RIGHT NOW IS VERY.... ITS CONFUSED!!! YES.. IT NEEDS HELP!!

BUT DEN, I AM SILENT

HELP ME O!!!

THIS STORY IS GOIN TO BE SHORT..

so i heard mc is doin anoda babez parole!!!

den i met sumone on friday!!!

and he claims he has fallen in love immediately!!!

dat my eyes added to it!!!

and dat hez really into me and tinz!!!

hmmn.. he has already started talking about how i cannot share my lips with some1 else o!!!

and why i jump stand sit eat. am fed up!!

HERE IS THE CATCH


MC is his cousin O. Just found out dis afternoon!!!
dis is like home video to me o. Jesus!!!

i cant even type dis thing in essay form!!

oya what kind of foolish coincidence is dis now ehn???
d guy has taken all d strength in me
telling me how i shud not push him away
how he is into me alredi. and like me
even love. MY PEOPLE!! how can sum1 profess love barely two hours after you meet ehn???
DAT AM HEARTLESS nd wicked because i dont want to be with him. and he has bin crying since. all dis one happened in 2days o. he even told his friend to tallk to me!!!

am so irritated. with fone calls..text messages and tinz.

but i noe i made a mistake!!!

I BELIEVE DIS THING IS JUST A LIE!!!

hello...

listening to a song now 'shawty- Akon' and just remembered some1. yes!! its a him..lol. lets call him Mr Cool.. shall we??
so this friend of mine has been real nice to me and tinz. we were 'fake friends' on facebook at first but we sha got talking.. and the rest dey say is history. you know when derz some fantasy about finding the person dat wud just take u out on crazy ass dates eertime.. dat is Mr Cool (MC) for you.

As an individual, i try as much as possible not to get attached to people cause wen i do, its no holds barred. same way in mc'z case. started feeling his steez well. so tey i even call him once in a while.. which i dont do on a normal day..lol. and tinz started getting really great. the first stage of d friendship was full of forming, with all the english, no crazy side of me showing and all dat.need i forget to mention.. i make people so comfortable around me dat dey start to show their bad manners. but we became really comfy with each other and a lot was let loose...

so y am i telling u about mc??? me sef i dunno. but i was about to enter anoda stage of liking him when i just heard gist dat d young man is chyking anoda babe. now the thing is.. y am i bothered?? he isnt asking me out or is he?? u c dats d problem. nothin is defined between us. we consider ourselves friends with... lol (u complete it)

I'LL GET BACK TO THIS- MC


Am listening to anoda song now- SOMETHING YOU FROGOT- lil wayne. my bestest aand special-est person (AY) told me to listen to it wenever he offends me. dis is an exception tho. d song just came up. so the thing is .. dis guy is really dear to me and i can do anything for him.
we started out as ordinary pals.. we used to read together.. we did a lot of amebo together.. had d best laf together and we even talked about his paroles (girls) as well. he was just d best.
i had a boyfriend at dat time. but it dint matter. ours was just plain old friendship.

but things took a different turn and our closeness was just too mad. we were like togeda 4 like half of everyday... we spent almost eer free time together and everything was just beautiful. but den all of a sudden... i started catching feelings. hmmn!!! it wasnt an easy something o.
we talked about it. it was a mutual thing. and dere was consideration for us being an item. but cos of some tinz.. we dint go further.

den somedays ago, MC called me and said he was coming to my side. we were to go out dat evening. i was chilln with AY at dat time and i told him to come get me from AY's side. dats how after a while...(MC was calling me a lot) AY switched off. i knew why.. am sure y'all do. maybe??? obviously??? i asked him wat d matter was and he said nothin. after a while.. he was like dere are some things you know you cannot have in dis life. dat its just d realization dat i'll grow someday and be with some one else and things like dat.

dis is some1 i can say i am so much in 'like' with him..lol. and dere he was yarning sumthn i dont even understand. my dear friend left me stunned. so fast forward to the next day.. we had a talk, and he said it was just an attention thing...dat he dosent want his weakness( dats me in reference) to have a hold on him and he dosent/is not ready for change and he isnt even goin to marry some1 he loves because he dosent want to be attached to anything . he said so much.. i was in shock.. almost cried. but i held my own. as am thinking about it now.. i feel like crying. but am still confused bout the whole thing. this is some1 i like a lot. lets even say love.. yet he dosent want to be involoved cos he dosent want to have a weak side dat can influence him. he even said dat i am too gud to be true cos dere too much peace between us.. eewo!! dats wen i even almost passed out. dat we have neva fought in almost 3 years and dat is not normal. people!! help me put here.. i really need to hear from you o.

because it is a s if am already locking-up.

den i tot id move on with MC. but i hear gist dar d young man is even doing anoda babes parole. not dat hez goin out with her o. but dey're sha talking. and d babe is really in close proximity. heard from a friend dat has a friend dat is her friend. but mehn!!!! i dont noe wat is doing me o.

DIS WHOLE SHII IS CRAZY!!!
i think i need a new toaster!!!

MISSING IN MOBILE TERMS

my popc travelled... without telling anyone. he only told his wife.
na so d wife call me dis morning sey wen last i hear from popc? i tell am say na weekend. asked her if dere was any problem and she said no

she called my aunt and told her dat she had not heard from him since last night and he was travelling.he can drive through the whole of Nigeria..literally. he hates flying.

anyway, eerbody started panicking cos when dey called his fone, some random man picked it up. my mind sha went to dem militants.
na so i dey think am sey... 'na so my popc go eradicate like dat??? ehn???' but God dey, i kept my cool. called the line for a really long time but dere was no answer sha!!

so after praying and believing God for a miracle, my dear dad called and said dat wwhen he stopped for fuel at 1am, he left his purse on the car, drove off and dat was how he lost it

if my brother did dis kind of thing, am sure my popc wud have skinned him alive

but God is great and i say THANK YOU GOD!!

all the while, police people and dem mopol were alreADY looking for him in port-harcourt and akwa-ibom o. ah!! yes!! he went to the east my dear people.

but he alive and well and am thankful!!!

IN SHOCK

Today,
My friend's mumc died!!!

She died!!

Am in shock, am so sad,

i dint believe it at first.. i was in front of the lagoon!!!

He sent me a message saying he rushed her to the hospital. LUTH!!
I was reading when i got the message and i showed it to my friend.

15mins later, i got anoda text message


i first saw 'mum is d....'
i dint want to believe what i was seeing

den i showed my friend the message again

i opened the mesage and it was confirmed.. GOD!!!

TEARS!!! in front of the lagoon!!!

Shez Dead. R-I-P

i wonder...am wondering.... still wondering!!!!

so... dis is d deal. i wonder y people always want to know wat ur thinkin..... y u neva have quiet wen u want it.... y u r neva freed wen u want to be... y things u dont want to happen just do out of d blues.... but most especially how it is 2 loose someone so dear 2 u.... (dis just came up cos am watching d diana thingy)

anyway, am not planning to be sad like rite now or write a sad post. but these stuvvz rili get me thinking a lot. Y is it possible to love or like and be loved bak in d same way??
av neva been so interested in 'stuff' like d above...if u noe wat i mean.
mehn!!! dem times of provin strong girl.... nothin do me mehn!!!

but am gettin mature... yes i am!! lol... if u like dont believe. these feelings come often... i find myself in enuf circumstances concerning feelins n all. (my bak s painin me o!). but sha, as a big girl now!!! u noe how we do.... lol.

now seriously, am at dis point where am finally in a situation. it seems so unreal to me. at times... am like... i like dis guy! lewd have mercy... oda times am like 'sub-conscious' wat did u get yourself in2? s'all gud tho. ( he gave me - 'sub-conscious').....

i'll do dis stuvvz latr jo!